I'm feeling very frustrated. I think this virus might kill me.
Okay, not literally but still...
I came home from my trip feeling uber motivated to make some changes. I'd set some pretty ambitious New Year's resolutions and was all gung-ho to get busy on them just as I got sick. The first week I felt like I had a horrible cold so it was easier to justify the laziness and there were outward symptoms to back me up. But now it's just the exhaustion and even though I have doctor's orders to rest and even take time off of work (ha!) it mostly just looks (and feels) like I'm lazy.
I've also spent most of my life being tired so my natural instinct is to just power through it, but some days that's easier than others. Some days I just can't do it no matter how much I want to. But I've been told explicitly that if I push too hard it will take me much longer to heal and I run the risk of getting secondary infections and such. Pretty much after a day of work I've used up any energy I had so I come home with a looming headache, loss of any mental capacity I may have had and zero energy.
So, instead of training for a 5K, taking a photography class, writing my book, studying the scriptures, updating my resume and looking for a new job, learning to make bread, practicing the piano, going to concerts and the million other things I had planned I am doing nothing more than watching A LOT of TV. No progression for me, just lots and lots of stagnation.
With that in mind, I've decided to throw a party; a pity party. And you're all invited. You bring the bottomless container of ice cream and I'll provide the sappy chick flicks. Deal?
(Thanks for letting me whine. I'll try to do better next time!)