I decided to take a leisurely trip across the country instead of hurrying from Virginia to Utah. If I'd had a little more money and a little less crap in my car I would have taken an even more circuitous route. As it was I spent nearly 9 days wandering mostly from one friend's home to another, breaking up the drive and doing a bit of sightseeing around this great nation.
First stop was Hodgenville, Kentucky where I visited the birthplace of Abraham Lincoln. Back in 1915 (the 50 year anniversary of his assassination) the public was invited to donate money and all the funds were used to build a memorial on the grounds. Fifty-six steps (one for each year of his life) lead up to a building housing a replica of a log cabin similar to the one where he was born. The cabin itself is a bit of a let-down but the grounds are beautiful and they hold a special sort of feeling, similar to the memorials in DC. It was a beautiful way to start my day and journey.
After leaving Hodgenville I drove a little over an hour north to Louisville where I took the opportunity to visit the historic Brown Hotel for lunch. The hotel had its hey day in the 20s and through the aftermath of WWII before it closed down. City revitalization efforts in the 80s paid off and the building is now on the National Historic Register, has been used in movies, hosted film and political dignitaries, and does a brisk business during Derby week. I treated myself to an amazing hot brown sandwich; an open-faced turkey, bacon, and tomato sandwich drenched in a rich Mornay cheese sauce. Take my advice, it's worth the trip but share it with a friend!
Next up was a visit to a great friend in St. Louis. We spent many hours catching up, antiquing and eating delicious food (a killer kale salad, a hot pastrami sandwich, local frozen custard and a fresh pastry breakfast among my faves.) We visited Forest Park, a huge park in the center of the city, larger than Central Park and originally the site of the Louisiana Purchase Expedition. It's now home to running trails, the zoo, a municipal theater, the St Louis Art museum, and a history museum. M and I spent one afternoon in the modern art wing of the art museum and I wandered through the history museum the morning before I hit the road. They're both free and both have pretty great collections. We also took a mandatory trip to the famous arch. It was fun to see the sights through the eyes of a local, to move beyond the traditional list of tourist attractions and venture off the beaten path. And to do it all with a gracious hostess and friend made it all the better.
I have been blessed with some of the greatest friends on the planet. I know most people think they can argue the same but I doubt that anyone has better friends than I do. As my time here begins to wind down (18 days and counting) I am struggling to find enough time to spend with the people I have met here who have become my support system, my source of entertainment, my surrogate family. In some ways the move still doesn't feel very real. Every moment of every day is so crammed with last minute to-dos (both the fun kind and the necessary kind) that I haven't had a lot of down time to process the emotions that are swirling in my heart. I still have nearly 3 weeks left, after all. Plenty of time to see everyone and fill my mind with memories to hold me through those months I'll spend in my parent's basement (it's only temporary!) and then the months I'll be all alone in a foreign country. Right?!
Well, everything sort of came to a head this weekend as I found myself saying my first real good bye. One of the best friends I've made out here is leaving town this week and won't be back until after I'm gone and, thinking I had more time left than I did, there was a mad scramble to find a few minutes in the chaos for one last heart to heart before we go our separate ways. Our late night tete a tete Sunday was more than worth the groggy day at work on Monday.
It was just the first of many but I'm already feeling the loss. So far I've kept the tears at bay (though I've found they leak out at other, non-emotionally justifiable times like when I'm reading a very not-sad book at lunch at work!) but I imagine that my drive out of town is going to be a soggy one.
A host of cheesy greeting card phrases run through my mind. Things like "god can't be everywhere that's why he gave us friends" and "friendship is a single soul living in two bodies." Things that sound ridiculous until you know them to be true (though that doesn't make them any less cheesy!) I'll never have enough time to get my fill of some of the people who have touched my life and there's no way to fill the holes that will surface in my heart when they are no longer near, but my heart and life are immeasurably improved by their influence and a little part of each of them will go with me when I go.
If you are mutual friends with either of my wonderful music swapping buddies, you'll know that I am very behind in posting this. For those of you who aren't, let's just pretend that first sentence doesn't exist and go merrily along under the assumption that I'm totally on top of things!
A few months ago two friends and I held a playlist swap before one of those friends moved on to greener pastures. We had such a great time we decided that we should carry on the tradition in a quarterly fashion, sending mix CDs to each other in the mail to whatever far-flung regions we should find ourselves. Thus it was that I found myself wracking my brain to compile the ultimate (and slightly obscure as these ladies are much bigger music junkies than I could ever hope to be) Christmas album. Here's what I came up with: (Click on any of the links to listen)
And thus it also was that I returned home from long days at work to find fun packages in the mail brimming with holiday tunes! Some of my faves? I've loved revisiting this John Denver classic, and disovering this version of Auld Lang Syne from one disc. The other contained this amazing version of O Come, O Come Emmanuel (one of my favorites! okay, most of them are my favorites, but still...) and this version of Come Thou Font of Every Blessing, not technically a Christmas song but definitely one with an appropriate and corresponding message.
I haven’t been MIA on purpose, despite how it’s all looked lately. I’m still trying to decide what to do about the lack of storage space issue. Apparently blogger gives you 5 gb free storage for photos and videos and then after that you have to pay a monthly fee. So, I’m debating whether to go back and delete superfluous photos or just suck it up and pay the money or see if there’s something else I can do. And on top of that I’ve had a whopper of a cold this week. Home from work and subsisting on a steady diet of soups and cheesy Christmas movies I’ve had a lot of time to think…but I haven’t. Mostly I’ve just soaked up a myriad of lessons from tv and the kindness of friends and roommates. I thought I’d pass on a few of the best to you all! (You can thank me later.)
There is healing power in homemade gingerbread
All wishes come true
There’s no such thing as too much Lysol
Christmas music is the best music of all, and finding new faves makes the season even better
A hot bath and a good book can cure a host of ills
Even if things don’t quite go as planned along the way the end result will be better than you imagined
You can relive/makeover your entire life in the span of 24 hours (or a couple of weeks, tops)
Soup, in its endless varieties, is a near-perfect food
Packages in the mail make even the worst day bearable
A meddlesome Santa/family member/guardian angel is the best matchmaker (and if you don’t marry the person they’re trying to match you with your efforts to escape them will lead you to The One)
To increase your chances of finding love volunteer at a dog shelter
And if all else fails hire someone to be your significant other to fool your family and you’ll be married by New Year’s!
So, adios to the first cold of the season. (Did you hear me? I'm done with you!!) Let’s hope this isn’t a portent of things to come but rather the only blow, leaving the rest of winter (or pseudo summer if you’re experiencing 70+ degrees and sunshine like we have been…or so I’ve heard) sickness free!
I'm guest posting over at my amazing friend's blog My Bookbloom today. Check it out!
Got a busy, busy weekend ahead of me and we've already started with huge batches of caramel apple cider cookies and some pumpkin ones (last ditch splurge before I start a sugar cleanse on Monday.) Then several church meetings, a statewide day of service, a baby shower, helping a friend move....the list is rather endless. Hope yours is a bit more relaxing!
I think I mentioned earlier that over the course of the next few months I will be losing approximately 75% of my social circle. It seems that everyone has the itch to move away, to make new starts and set off on new adventures. I too am feeling that itch but alas, a move is just not in the cards for me right now. So, here I stay wishing everyone farewell and safe travels and wishing I were going with them.
The upside of all of this is that I've been able to spend some good quality time with people in a way that doesn't happen when you know you'll see them again the following week. Conversations take on a different depth, looks and moments are far more meaningful and the way you spend your time is chosen very carefully in order to create memories that will last until the next time you see them (or forever in case that's the way your life paths lead.)
Such was the case last week when I participated in a small, intimate dinner. Just 3 of us, one leaving this week, one leaving later this year, and me. We noshed on homemade pizza, kale salad and a peach pie fresh from the oven (those girls know their food!) We laughed, we shared fears and plans for the future and we swapped mix tapes (those girls know their tunes!)
The rules (which I somehow failed to read) required that the tape (okay, it was actually a CD but that just doesn't quite have the same ring to it) have 10 songs that were in someway meaningful either to the maker or the recipient. We told each other the stories behind our song choices and then sat back and listened. But the best part has been the repeated listening that has gone on over the last few days. I've soaked up words and sounds in a way I haven't in I don't know how long. Knowing how much the tunes mean to my dear friends has made them mean something to me too, but I've found my own meanings to layer on top of theirs.
I've had one disc playing non-stop in my room and the other playing non-stop in my car and the words have been etched on my soul.
Some of my favorite words:
hello, my old heart
it's been so long
since I've given you away
and every day I add another stone
to the walls I built around you
to keep you safe...
...but you'll never find the answers
until you set your old heart free
--The Oh Hellos
I don’t wanna make you interested.
I just wanna make you the only one.
I don't wanna ask myself forever
Why I didn't put myself together?
As soon as you appeared into my eye
--Peter Bjorn and John
(I want someone to say this to me, isn't it great?!)
And a few overall just amazing listens:
I could go on and on and list every single song but that gives you a small sampling of our evening.
Thank goodness for technology, email, facebook and blogs that can keep us connected across continents. But I think the hand-selected melodies will be the best connection of all. We had no repeats (even of artists) between the three of us and we each discovered some new favorites and rediscovered some that we'd forgotten. There were hints of melancholy amongst them all, obviously the bittersweet future was in the backs of our minds as we made our selections. And that melancholy stayed with us as we left with heavy hearts and un-shed tears. Yet we have the tangible reminders of the night and our friendship in the shape of slender silver/irridescent circles filled with the words our friends would say were they still nearby.
And as a bonus we decided to continue the music swap by mail every couple of months. Who doesn't love getting something that isn't a bill or junk in the mail? Bring on the Christmas music!
I have a bit of a dilemma at the moment. It's nothing earth shattering or life-changing (I don't think!) but it's enough of a quandary that it's causing me some grief and keeping me up at night. But that's mostly because I excel at over-thinking and over-analyzing things. (Oh, that I could put that on my resume!) So, I just want to give a great shout out to all the people who have lent a listening ear and will continue to do so as I continue to obsess. Thanks for keeping me sane(ish)!
And as a little treat for your ears, let's give them something else to listen to besides me, shall we? How 'bout this?
Or if you prefer something a bit more happy-go-lucky sounding, you can try this one...
Two vastly different songs but they both make me wish I could stumble upon pianos (or any furniture really) in random outdoor settings. Don't you just want to play a rousing number with the waves literally crashing around you? Awesome!
Well 'mountain' may be a strong term. They don't really grow mountains out thisa-way. But it's about as close to a mountain as you come East of the Mississippi.
I got up oh-so-early Saturday morning to drive to Harper's Ferry, WV and after being thwarted several times by road construction we finally found a path that we could take and still be on the same side of the river as our car when we were done. We ended up walking up to the view at Jefferson's Rock. At this overlook of the confluence of the Shenandoah and Potomac rivers the former president made the audacious statement "this scene is worth a voyage across the Atlantic." (We all begged to differ just a bit. Though it is a nice view I'm not sure it quite lives up to the presidential hype.) What do you think?
Next, we walked back down to the bottom of the hill, crossed the Shenandoah river by way of an old railroad bridge to meet up with the Appalachian Trail and then up to an overlook looking back onto the town. We killed ourselves (though it did end up being nearly 7 miles all told so we weren't quite as wimpy as we'd thought we were) seeing as how none of us were in the shape we used to be and this being the first hike of the season. (Yeah, let's blame it on that!)
Regardless, it was a gorgeous day. The weather couldn't have been better if we'd ordered it ourselves. And it was great to be out and about enjoying nature and laughing it up with good friends. Thanks for the memories ladies (you know who you are) and let's not too long go before we do it again. I swear my knees and lungs will get used to it if we do it enough, right? I refuse to believe it's just that I'm old! :)
If you're lucky enough to have family all around you, be grateful. I'm currently 2090.99 miles away from mine (thank you MapQuest) and sometimes I miss them so much it hurts. I miss being able to drive down the street to see my aunt or Grandpa at a moment's notice. I miss being included in the big family gatherings, the holiday barbecues, the weddings and baby blessings. I miss family dinners with all their squabbles and tensions and uncontrollable giggles. I miss having afternoons where my mom and/or sister and I hang out and do absolutely nothing together. I miss lunches with my Grandma. I miss laughing and visiting with my cousins, being buoyed up by the love and testimonies of my uncles and learning of service and motherhood from my aunts. I miss the big things and the little things but mostly I just miss the security of knowing that there is always someone there, someone I can call on at a moment's notice for help or advice or a shoulder to cry on or any number of things.
Being adrift on my own in the big, wide world I've had to learn to find substitute family. Friends and ward members have stepped into shoes otherwise filled by blood relatives and for the most part they've done a pretty decent job (though they're never quite the same.) But I've been blessed to have a few people practically adopt me and become as close to family as possible without actually being related.
When I first moved out to the East Coast I had a second cousin who was living out here with her husband and kids. We'd known each other a bit growing up but not well (her dad was in the Air Force and they spent most of their growing up years in Japan.) So, first I had the great opportunity to get to know them better and have the benefit of a family unit to spend time with. And then my cousin's husbands parents (confusing yes? but no relation to me at all) moved out here as well and we spent a lot of time together, having Sunday dinners and game nights and such. When my cousin and her family moved to Chicago I figured I would never see Phil and Meredith again. But I was so mistaken! They have taken me under their wings and accepted me into their family in a big way. They've been there to help me move, to take me to dinner, to share evenings of laughter and entertainment, introduced me to some fabulous movies, sent countless emails and made dozens of phone calls checking in to make sure everything is okay in my solitary little world. I've taken to calling them my aunt and uncle, first as a simplified version of the convoluted story about who they actually are but now as truth. They've helped to fill a void that only a select number of people can fill and for that I will be eternally grateful.
Friends, who in your life do you look to as family? Do you have someone you can count on for the ugly as well as the good? Is there someone who has blessed your life simply by being in it? I'd love to hear about them. Leave me a comment!
I have this fetish for birds right now. And owls in particular. I'm sure it's partly because they are the current crafty trend and you can find them all over the place. But I like to think I liked them before it was cool to do so. Anyway, I've made a few purchases recently solely because an ornithological image was involved. I have this darling owl ring and a charming bird pendant that make me smile. And I've even tried my hand at craftiness, making a fun wall-hanging with a bird-in-a-cage silhouette, a fun little owl stamp and some felt to make a stuffed owl as soon as I find access to a sewing machine.
But my friend called me the other day to make sure I was 'her friend who likes owls', to which I responded 'whoooo me?' (I know, sometimes I'm so clever it kills me!) And last night when I met her for dinner she handed me a gift sack with the most darlingest (yes, I believe that was my exact wording) little owl I've ever seen! Look how cute this little fella is!
You can only appreciate about 1/3 of his charm because you can't cuddle him or pet him. He is soft and squishy and floppy in all the right places...I love him!! He completely made my week (well, him and his generous and lovely purchaser of course. 'P', you know who you are...love you too!)
He doesn't have a name yet. Any suggestions?
Here's to life starting to look up again. And if it doesn't, well, I have this little guy to hug and keep me company. I think I can handle that! :)
So, I spent the day yesterday puking my guts out (I'm really tired of being sick by the way, I've been sick way more than my share this winter, what's up with that?!) But I was well taken care of. One roommate brought me the required bowl and glass of water and checked up on me throughout the day. The other brought me Coke and saltines and a stack of movies to keep me company.
I complain a lot that I miss living on my own. It was so great to have my own space with control over everything from the mess to the entire fridge, the decorating and the closet space. I loved living by myself! But I have been very blessed with a succession of wonderful roommates while I've been here in Virginia. Starting with my sister and on throughout the various and sundry people over the years I've had great friends, been taught many things, and been given many wonderful opportunities...and been doctored and pampered!
A big shout-out to the many amazing roommates I've had over the years and especially to the ones I have now. Thanks for the memories and thanks for the love (and thanks for the bowl!)
