Monday, July 1, 2013

finishing a task.

I spent the weekend packing up 7 years’ worth of accumulated stuff, praying that it would all squish into the 5x7 shipping pod lingering in the parking lot out front and trying not to cry. I’m really excited for this new adventure but every now and then it really sinks in just what it’s going to mean.

I’ve struggled with homesickness ever since I got here. I came out anticipating staying just a year (I’d only taken a leave of absence from my job) and then once that year passed, really felt strongly that I needed to stay. I’ve toyed with going back west many times and fought with my love of this place and my dissatisfactions with it over and over and over. Now that I’m actually making the move I’m thinking of all the things and places and people I will miss so much when I’m gone and it breaks my heart just the tiniest bit.

Stage one of the move severed the first of the ties that bind me to this place I never thought I would call home. Thinking I might need extra time to sublease my room and having limited scheduling flexibility I decided to bail from my place a few weeks early. I have some wonderful friends who are letting me crash on their couch til I go. So, the majority of my things are making
their way across the country without me. I’ve said (a temporary) goodbye to old roommates and my corner of the world to begin my months of displacement and upheaval, and am gearing up for the next emotional step of doing so many things here for the last time in preparation for saying a final farewell. The emotions are high on all counts; excitement, nervousness, reluctance, anticipation, sadness, gratefulness. It’s going to be a wild ride for the next few weeks. Here’s hoping I make it through in one piece!

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