Tuesday, September 16, 2014

a deep thought.

Nothing can be more life-changing than an escape from your own preconceptions.
~Roger Housden

I've been working on this a lot lately.  As I haven't been 'working' in the traditional sense there's been plenty of time for introspection and self-discovery (and of course, job hunting) which is all really, really hard work.  And I don't always like the results.  Of any of it. I have a lot of thought patterns that aren't very healthy, habits that need to be broken and skills that need to learned. But there have been many positive moments of enlightenment along the way as well.

I've been reading a lot of books about finding yourself and finding your passion and reinventing your life.  I've got a few reviews of some of my favorites in the works to share with you all but for today it's enough to tell you that a recurring theme in all of them is basically the idea of being forgiving of yourself, of being okay with who you are and where you are and accepting the fact that it's all what it's supposed to be no matter how bleak it may seem at the moment. Or even how great.  This too shall pass. All we really have is right now and it's no use fighting it. The key is to make peace with it and with ourselves.

Nothing new, I know. That's why it's showed up in pretty much everything I've read (not always in those words but in various incarnations of such.)  But, while it's something I've known and even believed for a long time it's not something I've ever really applied. I am a control freak and if things don't go according to my plan then I tend to fight against it or fall apart. I have a timeline, and goals, and images in my head of how things are supposed to be and so often I fail to take into account that other people, nature, and God are going to get in the way of all of that. And that's okay. It will all be okay.

I've had several great conversations with friends who have validated my various frustrations and commiserated with my woes and then gently reminded me of the good things in my life or shared with me stories of the miracles, lessons and unexpected blessings and pleasures that have come in their lives from detours, thwarted plans, and unfulfilled dreams. There is often something greater than we could have imagined or planned for ourselves on the other side of difficulty.

So, another of my goals for the moment is to work hard to re-imagine the preconceived possibilities I had anticipated for my life and open myself up to the opportunities, be they good or "bad", that the universe has in store for me. Have you had any similar experiences?  How do you get out of your own way when it comes setting goals, remaining 'present' in negative circumstances, and course corrections after the unexpected?


  1. This is a very important realization and difficult but rewarding to put into practice. After my last romantic breakup, I made a concerted effort to develop true inner peace. I wanted to be at-peace with God, other people, my situation, changes I couldn't control, etc., and wanted to be able to "roll with the punches" better. It definitely takes effort but it's worth it. I found yoga to be very beneficial as well as being firm and unapologetic about spending my time only with people and activities that lifted me up (well, to the extent possible; there are always mandatory tasks that aren't pleasant). Good luck with your journey!!

  2. Marni-Thanks! It's always nice to hear that others have gone through similar struggles and made it out alive! :) I'm working on adding more yoga to my world. It's amazing how much it helps!