the best news.

I became an aunt for the third time over earlier this week. I have a 3 year-old nephew and a 2 year-old nephew (thanks to two different brothers and their incredible wives) who have added light and life to our family. And now we've added a beautiful niece to the mix and I am overjoyed.

It amazes me how fiercely I can love these little beings who share really only the smallest part of my blood and soul, who live thousands of miles away and who I only get to see maybe twice a year. And it amazes me how fiercely they can love me back!

I want to protect them and shelter them from all of the horrible things that they'll undoubtedly face as they grow up in this ever-changing and often cruel world. But I long to share with them and introduce them to so many of the fabulous things that this same world has to offer.  To watch them learn and discover the things around them, who they are and what they are capable of as they grow into their own. I want to cheer them on as they succeed and wipe their tears when they fall, to assure them that while life is hard it's also very, very good.

I want to share late night movies and treats their parents have forbidden them to eat. To sneak them away for day trips and date nights. To be the voice of reason when they have that teenage-induced loss of respect for their parents.

And, nothing against the boys, but I want to buy dresses and pink and play dress-up and tea party. Thanks, baby P for bringing me a little bit closer to that dream!

Welcome to our family, baby girl. And welcome to the world!

being existential.

I've tried several times to take up yoga. I've checked books and DVDs out of the library and done my darndest to twist and pretzel myself into various poses while trying to simultaneously pause the video or prop open the page in an effort to get it right and find my zen. All to no avail.

But several of my doctors have 'prescribed' it as a means of improving my sleep and posture, lowering stress and increasing my overall well-being so I decided I needed to give it another go.  This time I sucked it up and paid money for a class. An early class before work no less. So, now I get to pretend to balance and bend and breathe (BREATHE!) at an unearthly hour in the company of well-practiced strangers.  But you know what? I kind of love it.

I've never been particularly strong or graceful. I had to drop out of gymnastics at the age of 5 because I wasn't flexible enough to do the moves. No lie. And I'm not the most coordinated soul around. So, all of this slow moving inhaling, exhaling, rotating to find equilibrium is a challenge, especially in my no-longer-five-year-old body. But if it's done only one thing it's made me more aware of where I am and what I'm doing at a given moment.

I notice when I'm holding my breath and make myself breathe more deeply. I notice when I've tensed my muscles and make myself relax. And sometimes I just notice when I'm in desperate need of a pedicure and make myself re-focus! But most of all I notice when I'm not noticing (which happens a lot) and I'm learning to slow down, relax and just be.

Ommmm

Have you ever done yoga? Anyone ever given the hot yoga a try? What are other methods of centering and relaxation I should add to my regimen?

new music!

It's that time of year again. Time to whip out the blank CDs and favorite tunes and make some playlists for our music swap. We've recruited a few more contributors this time around so I'm looking forward to getting 5 different mixes in the mail over the next few weeks.


March tends to be the ushering in of springtime and a change in scenery for me both physically and emotionally. February drags on and on and by the end the winter blues and ennui have settled in pretty deep. But once March is underway I've shaken the cobwebs from my brain, kicked up my heels and am ready to throw open the windows and let the sunshine in. This list isn't quite the perfect representation of that transformation but it comes as close as I could get while sticking to the song/time limit parameter. Here's what I sent:


1. Winter in My Heart        The Avett Brothers
2. A Hazy Shade of Winter        Simon and Garfunkel
3. Why Does It Always Rain on Me?        Travis
4. Stop This World        Diana Krall
5. Into the Ocean        Blue October
6. Hunted by Ghosts        The Local Strangers
7. Up the Road        Blackberry Smoke
8. Cold Wind        Among Savages
9. Boston        Augustana
10. Things Will Change        Treetop Flyers
11. Here Comes the Sun        The Beatles
 
And of the two I've gotten in the mail so far these are the tracks that I just can't stop listening to!

This tune is one I came across a couple of months ago in some of my musical wanderings but then had failed to write down what it was and where I found it.  I was so tickled that it crossed my path again! Musical fate, it's a magical thing!

And this one just sort of gets in your brain and doesn't let go!

What's featuring in the soundtrack of your life lately?

a good book.

Gravediggers: Mountain of Bones
Author: Christopher Krovatin
Pages: 323
Age Range: 10-14
Published: 2012
Genre: Sci-fi/Horror
Cover Score: ***
Overall Score: ***
Rating: PG

Beware of the zombie apocalypse! Zombies are taking over the world and a tiny part of me is content to be along for the ride. I think my real foray into the genre started when I read The Forest of Hands and Teeth when it first came out a few years ago. (Though I may or may not have participated in a few late night viewings of The Evil Dead movies in college.) I saw this movie a couple of weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it (though it's obviously not your traditional zombie tale.) And I'm more than a little excited to watch Brad Pitt take on the masses in this movie this summer. But I'm not a giant fan of gore so I much prefer to read about the undead than to watch them writhe and stumble about on screen.

Kids of course want to jump on the bandwagon of whatever trend happens to be enticing their older brothers and sisters but there are very few true paranormal and quality (sorry RL Stine) horror books for middle readers (and obviously even less for the young crowd.)  So I was thrilled to come across this book in our library's new orders recently.

A school group is headed to the wilds of Montana for their Homeroom Earth experience, learning all about wilderness and survival. Little do they know that in a few short hours they'll be literally running for their lives.

Three of the kids are lured into the forest following a huge buck and are soon lost. At first they don't panic. Kendra, the brain, has a map and compass and knows she can figure out a way back. PJ has a backpack full of food and other supplies thanks to his paranoid parents while Ian has more than enough confidence for the three of them. But the woods hold a deadly secret. Groups of campers and wanderers have been disappearing for years. Last year's Homeroom Earth was cancelled because the Pine City Dancers vanished the year before...or so the urban legend says.

First they hear noises, then the compass stops working and then there's the feeling of being watched. They seek shelter in an abandoned cabin only to find that the basement is filled with bones and a diary belonging to one of the lost dancers. It's no legend after all and their paranoia in the woods wasn't their imagination. The forest is 'alive' with the un-dead!

Things get even stranger when they run into an old woman who claims to be the Warden set to protect the land and keep the zombies in check but the kids have unwittingly broken her charms and she can no longer do it alone. They band together to survive and protect the rest of their friends who are still at camp and oblivious.  There is a satisfying, and age appropriately positive ending but we also have the kids being marked as 'gravediggers', zombie killers who help keep the balance but were disbanded years ago, which foreshadows the promise of a sequel.

This is exactly the kind of book that would have had me reading under the covers with a flashlight as a kid.  And the the kind of book that would have had me sleeping with that flashlight for the next week in an effort to keep the nightmares at bay. It's creepy and atmospheric. There's gore (I mean there is rotting flesh and walking dead and all) but it's not too over the top and while there's a good deal of peril there's not much in the way of actual violence so you can feel pretty comfortable in handing it off to most kids.


Looking for more kid-friendly zombie fare?  Try Zombiekins, Zombie in Love, or Paranorman.  Have a slightly older crowd? Give Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,  Rot and Ruin  or  I Kissed a Zombie and I Liked It a go. (I can't vouch for the quality of these last two as I haven't read them myself, but they are on my TBR list so if anyone else has read them let me know if I should bump them up to the top!)

dispelled loneliness.

One of the perks of not being able to sleep (if it can be thought of as a perk) is that you get the house, and often the world, to yourself at odd hours of the night. A few nights ago I was up wandering around 3 am or so, reheating a heat pack and making me some chamomile tea. The house was silent aside from the sounds of settling that seem to happen only when it thinks no one is listening. There was a hint of horizontal light peeking through the blinds from the streetlamps out front and the odd glow of an alarm clock and charging laptop, enough to light my way downstairs without having to turn on an overhead light.

As I was waiting for my water to heat I looked out the back window and realized I wasn't alone. Across the bridle path and through the trees I could see not one, not two but three windows illuminated in the darkness. I wondered at the circumstances behind the too-early-morning shine. Did my neighbors have jobs that forced them to be up at this hour? Were there new babies in the house that needed feeding or comforting? Perhaps they'd received bad news, a late night phone call that forced all sleep from them? Or, like me, did they simply have nights when sleep, no matter how welcome and wished for, wouldn't come?

I leaned my forehead against the cool pane and let the steam from my mug fog the glass as one by one the lights winked out and I was alone again with the night. Misery, no matter how brief, loves company and it was a comfort to share my insomnia with strangers. And with that feeling of unknown of alliance and companionship I headed back upstairs to cuddle under the blankets and drift off to sleep.

a good book.

Bloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected
Author: Kelle Hampton
Pages: 278
Age Range: adult
Published: 2012
Genre: non-fiction, memoir
Cover Score: ****
Overall Score: ****
Rating: PG-13 (some language)

Ms. Hampton writes her story of dealing with the first year of her daughter's life. After years of waiting for marriage and a family she's finally living her ultimate dream. Her first daughter, Lainey, is a darling two-year-old blond and mom has so many plans for the girls when she finds out a younger sister is on the way. Late night giggling, boy talk, weddings, all of the things Kelle had shared with her own sister. But at delivery, she knows instantly that something isn't right and is devastated to learn that little Nella has Down syndrome.

What unfolds is a journey through the ups and downs of new motherhood, for though she already has a child she is navigating all new waters and circumstances complete with blood tests, therapy, additional health risks, support groups, conventions, awareness, hormones, and so much more.

She talks about her dreams of a white picket fence and all that went with it and having to re-imagine her future and dreams when that fence was leveled. She finally came to the realization that her fence, when it was re-built, was multi-colored, brightly painted and far more joyous and amazing than her plain old white one had ever been.

I'm impressed with her give 'em hell/kick ass attitude. She felt pain and ran the gamut of emotions from guilt to sorrow to fear to doubt and everything in between and she allowed herself to feel all of them, But she didn't dwell. She basically decided it was up to her to create a new life, a mosaic with the shattered pieces she'd been left with.

I can't relate to her circumstances but I found myself relating very strongly to nearly all of her emotions. We've all had dreams go up in smoke, been devastated by an outcome that was different than one we'd planned, been afraid of the unknown and what the future might hold and felt frustrated and helpless when faced with things outside of our control.

I think this quote nicely sums up the overarching theme of the book:

Pain has a way of pulling you forward to a surprising place of "I didn't know I had it in me," and while you think there is no way you will ever make it through in the beginning, you do. pg 237

This was one of those books I hadn't planned on reading. As I walked past the new books shelf at the library the other day it practically jumped off the shelf and into my hands. (I have a huge testimony of this phenomenon but have yet to give it a name...suggestions?!) I firmly believe it was what I needed to read this week. I cried through most of it and ached for her. And I ached for myself almost as much. My life has not turned out the way I had planned and hoped. I'm struggling to come to terms with this new reality and realize the potential of the pieces I've been given, to figure out how to win the game I didn't plan on playing. I'm hoping to take a piece of her attitude and determination, put it in my pocket and carve a place for it in my heart so I can learn to face my challenges with the same courage she's used to face hers.

She opened with this quote by Mary Oliver:

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

I think I will be taking this on as a personal mantra.

I highly recommend this inspirational read to mothers and women in particular but really to anyone who is going through challenges of any kind. You'll be touched by her story, I promise.

a hint of spring.

I spent a good part of my day in Philadelphia today viewing the famous flower show exhibition.  Not only was it a much needed respite from the grind of daily life (it's amazing what a change of scenery will do) but it was refreshing to be surrounded by works of art incorporating the smells and textures of countless blooms. The air outside was brisk but inside spring had sprung.

This year's theme was "Brilliant" and everything tied in somehow to Great Britain. The Beatles featured prominently, the royal family made a few appearances, and floral literary figures abounded.  (The lighting in the building was horrendous, btw so the photos aren't great. Sorry!)

Jane Austen's front door

The green/White Rabbit 

The Dowager Countess of Grantham

one of the beautiful blooms

the entrance gate

Underground pep talks

Big Ben

We sandwiched our visit in between trips to Reading Terminal Market for breakfast pretzels, mile high sandwiches and Amish baked goods. It was a great escape and fed my spring fever.

And on top of that I came home to find this fabulous surprise waiting for me in my stack of mail.

In case you can't tell, that is a USB disguised as a cassette tape and it contains my first mix in this round of long distance music swaps. Is that not the cutest thing you've ever seen? It made my fantastic day even more amazing! Thanks, M! Can't wait to listen to the tunes!

March is already better than February and it's only 2 days in. Bring it!