a day to celebrate dads.

My dad and I have never had the best relationship.  In some ways we are exactly alike and in others we are exactly opposite which has caused a lot of moments of head butting and misunderstandings and frustrations and (in my case) tears throughout my lifetime. That said, my dad is a wonderful person. He is strong and hard working, committed and humble. He has been a constant example of faith and integrity, traits that have shaped many of the choices I have made and the things I have done in my life.  He has always provided for our family, been supportive, and done his best to see that we are happy and successful.

I've always envied my friends who are daddy's girls, those who have their dads wrapped around their little fingers and can tell their dads anything. I don't know that I'll ever have that kind of relationship with mine but a little maturity (on my end) and a few years of physical separation have worked miracles in helping us to learn to appreciate our differences in communicating and in our emotional needs and has brought us closer to that ideal.

So, today I give a shout out to my constant supporter, provider and example. Thanks for all you have done for me in helping me to become the person I am today, for giving me a high standard to live up to and a measure for the kind of man I'd like to marry some day. I love you!

And thanks to all the men in my life who have filled fatherly roles in ways large and small and those who will continue to do so as time goes by.

These last two thoughts aren't mine but express how I feel about the important role of fathers.

"...a father's calling is eternal, and its importance transcends time."
Ezra Taft Benson

"God bless you, dear fathers. May He bless you with wisdom and judgment, with understanding, with self-discipline and self-control, with faith and kindness and love. And may He bless the sons and daughters who have come into your homes, that yours may be a fortifying, strengthening, guiding hand as they walk the treacherous path of life. As the years pass—and they will pass ever so quickly—may you know that “peace … which passeth all understanding” (Philip. 4:7) as you look upon your sons and daughters, who likewise have known that sacred and wonderful peace."

Gordon B Hinckley

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. All the ties, power tools and BBQ equipment in the world can't express how much you are needed and appreciated!

new music and good friends.

I think I mentioned earlier that over the course of the next few months I will be losing approximately 75% of my social circle. It seems that everyone has the itch to move away, to make new starts and set off on new adventures. I too am feeling that itch but alas, a move is just not in the cards for me right now. So, here I stay wishing everyone farewell and safe travels and wishing I were going with them.

The upside of all of this is that I've been able to spend some good quality time with people in a way that doesn't happen when you know you'll see them again the following week. Conversations take on a different depth, looks and moments are far more meaningful and the way you spend your time is chosen very carefully in order to create memories that will last until the next time you see them (or forever in case that's the way your life paths lead.)

Such was the case last week when I participated in a small, intimate dinner. Just 3 of us, one leaving this week, one leaving later this year, and me. We noshed on homemade pizza, kale salad and a peach pie fresh from the oven (those girls know their food!) We laughed, we shared fears and plans for the future and we swapped mix tapes (those girls know their tunes!)

The rules (which I somehow failed to read) required that the tape (okay, it was actually a CD but that just doesn't quite have the same ring to it) have 10 songs that were in someway meaningful either to the maker or the recipient. We told each other the stories behind our song choices and then sat back and listened. But the best part has been the repeated listening that has gone on over the last few days. I've soaked up words and sounds in a way I haven't in I don't know how long. Knowing how much the tunes mean to my dear friends has made them mean something to me too, but I've found my own meanings to layer on top of theirs.

I've had one disc playing non-stop in my room and the other playing non-stop in my car and the words have been etched on my soul.

Some of my favorite words:

hello, my old heart 

it's been so long 

since I've given you away 

and every day I add another stone 

to the walls I built around you 

to keep you safe... 

...but you'll never find the answers 

until you set your old heart free

--The Oh Hellos

I don’t wanna make you interested.

I just wanna make you the only one.

I don't wanna ask myself forever

Why I didn't put myself together?

As soon as you appeared into my eye

--Peter Bjorn and John

(I want someone to say this to me, isn't it great?!)

And a few overall just amazing listens:

I could go on and on and list every single song but that gives you a small sampling of our evening.

Thank goodness for technology, email, facebook and blogs that can keep us connected across continents. But I think the hand-selected melodies will be the best connection of all. We had no repeats (even of artists) between the three of us and we each discovered some new favorites and rediscovered some that we'd forgotten. There were hints of melancholy amongst them all, obviously the bittersweet future was in the backs of our minds as we made our selections. And that melancholy stayed with us as we left with heavy hearts and un-shed tears. Yet we have the tangible reminders of the night and our friendship in the shape of slender silver/irridescent circles filled with the words our friends would say were they still nearby.

And as a bonus we decided to continue the music swap by mail every couple of months. Who doesn't love getting something that isn't a bill or junk in the mail? Bring on the Christmas music!

Happiness is...a trip home.

4 hours + 1 plane ride + 2000 miles + 3 super thick shakes + 4 dinners with friends + 1 mani/pedi + miles of  mountains + 2 darling nephews + 1 birthday celebration + 20 hugs from a two-year-old + 5 kisses from a one-year-old + countless moments with grandparents + 1 rousing game of glow-in-the-dark air hockey + 2 massages + 1 afternoon movie - all stress - 24 hours of work - any doses of reality + a bit of typical family drama = 1 terrific trip home!

And now we're back to real life. Why is it that vacations are never long enough?

Happiness is...a fond childhood memory.

I have lost two cherished icons in the space of a week.

Last Friday the world lost the last half of the husband-wife team that created the much-loved Berenstain Bears books. Jan passed away after having suffered a stroke at the age of 88. (Her husband Stan passed away in 2005.) I don't know of anyone who hasn't grown up reading their books, whether as a parent to their child or as a child themselves. Probably best known for their tales with a moral, they've dealt with everything from sibling rivalry to too much junk food, stranger danger and even religion. Their books have taken a bit of turn towards the schmalz as of late, but their early stuff is priceless, with their beginning readers the best of the best.

Many a night I would beg for another reading of The Spooky Old Tree (still one of my favorite reads!), inducing the juiciest of chills followed up by a nice, warm happy ending, perfect for even the youngest of readers. *Warning* It's a gateway book for harder stuff. I blame it entirely for my late elementary school fascination with the likes of Agatha Christie and Edgar Allan Poe!

And I probably could still recite to you the entire text of Inside, Outside, Upside-Down and The B Book...they're very Seuss-esque, which is appropriate as he helped get them started in the publishing world.

The world is a much sadder and duller place for their loss.

Go here, to see a complete listing of their books, to play some fun games, and more.

And here to read a great memorial from the Huffington Post.

And then today I was hit with the news that Davy Jones had died after suffering a heart attack. For those of you not familiar with the great silliness that is The Monkees, go here and fix that, right now.  Or take a gander at these clips.

(Davy's signature song)

(The opening and closing credits of their TV show)

The Monkees was a musical group created to ride on the wave of the Beatles popularity. They were commissioned to star in the offbeat and sometimes ridiculous tv series where they often bumblingly solved mysteries ala Scooby Doo while meeting pretty girls and occasionally breaking into song. Their songs were released on records and they even went on tour. They were goofy and quirky and really not all that talented, but they were charming and so completely likeable that they were a huge success for several years.

As all the best things do, they came back into fashion many years later. In the 80s MTV and a few other stations began showing the reruns and a whole new generation fell in love. My mom happened to have nearly all of their records and so I inherited them along with a mad passionate crush on the token Brit (they had to have a cute guy with an accent if they were going to feed off the Beatles frenzy), Mr. Davy Jones.

Oh, he was so cute! He was my first celeb crush and I was devestated when my mom finally pointed out that he was older in real life than she was (reality can be tough on a 4th grader) but I've never lost my soft spot for him, nor my love for the Monkees in general. (I can still do a few of the interpretive dances my cousin and I worked up to some of their songs when the occasion calls for it ...the 'occasion' being any time one of the songs come on my ipod during shuffle mode!)

RIP my friends, you carry a bit of my childhood with you to your graves. Guard it well.


*Disclaimer--
I'm beginning to feel as if I ought to change the 'happiness' tag on my blog. Sorry about all the downer posts lately. I'll try to do better, I promise!

Happiness is...a mug of hot Postum.

I have been extremely under the weather lately.  Turns out I have a lovely little viral infection of sorts that will take weeks to fully recover from...hooray!  And the only thing I can do about it is to get lots of rest and drink plenty of liquids.

Well, last night I did just that.  I came home from work and put my pajamas on about 7:30 pm, heated up a mug of hot Postum and settled in to watch a few episodes of Castle.

I grew up drinking Postum, a delicious caffeine-free grain derived beverage. It was the perfect substitute for sugary hot chocolate, particularly when one was sick. But the dang ol' Kraft company went and discontinued it a few years ago.  That's right.  I've been hoarding one last jar in my cupboard for years, plural. I have about 1/3 of it left and I ration it out to myself only under the most carefully scrutinized conditions. Last night it was just what the doctor ordered.

I think it helped that I drank it out of a monster mug. :)

I cry when I think about scraping out the last of the rich, dark crystals and drinking the final mug full.  (And no, Pero is not a worthy substitute.) But until that dreaded day I will savor the restorative and reminiscent properties contained in each and every mug!

Happiness is...a Christmas movie!

(So much for my 12 Days of Christmas posts...not sure how I skipped over yesterday completely, oops! And it was only day 2! Let's just pretend this posted yesterday, shall we?)

I love my holiday movies almost as much as I love my music, though it takes longer to watch a movie so I don’t get nearly as many in. Christmas isn’t Christmas without at least a partial viewing of A Christmas Story and the Rankin Bass Christmas specials with Frosty, Rudolph, and the gang. (I’m good with catching a half hour or so of them on tv and don’t usually feel compelled to watch the whole thing) and one or two of the ridiculously cheesy romantic comedy-esque movies that are churned out by the hundreds on Lifetime and Hallmark and ABC Family. Predictable, laughable and depending on which channel possibly filled with a death or two, they are also a requisite Christmas experience.

A few essentials that I watch at least once every year, sometimes not even at Christmas (shh!):

• White Christmas
• Muppet Christmas Carol
• It's a Wonderful Life
• Elf
• Holiday Inn
• How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the original cartoon version with Boris Karloff narrating , not the scandalously horrid Jim Carey version)

Some great classics that make their way into my viewing lineup once every couple of years:

• A Christmas Carol-any version, but this is one of my favorites
• The Bishop's Wife
• Mr. Krueger's Christmas
• Miracle on 34th Street (I find I alternate the versions each year, usually getting one of them in each season and haven't been able to pick a favorite between the two)
• The Santa Clause
• The Small One
• Mickey's Christmas Carol

A few pre/pseudo holiday movies that help get you in the spirit without technically being Christmas movies:

• The Holiday
• While You Were Sleeping
• You've Got Mail
• Meet Me In St. Louis
• The Nightmare Before Christmas
• Little Women (the most recent version with Christian Bale...of course!)

I know it’s probably heresy to some of you that I don’t have A Charlie Brown Christmas on here but I’ve never been a fan. Aside from the part where they are practicing for the program and they all do their little happy dance I just think they’re mean to each other (Charlie in particular) and it’s just no good. I spend way too much time feeling sorry for Charlie Brown and never quite catching the oh-so-subtle spirit of Christmas hidden at the end to enjoy it. The music, however, is brilliant.

Any of your favorites I may have missed?

Let's leave you with a short clip to get your weekend started out right. Whaddya say?

Such a fabulous movie! Go watch the rest, right now. Whatever you think you need to be doing instead will still be waiting for you when it's over.

Happiness is...remembering.

Today marks the 70th Anniversary of the attacks on Pearl Harbor.

I wasn't there that day but I think the experience must have been akin to the shock my generation felt while watching the events of September 11th unfold. Even now words fail to describe the horror and disorientation as ordinary lives quickly spiraled into the realm of nightmare and disbelief. I don't know if hearing things second hand, after the fact and described over the radio would make them more or less conceivable than watching them unfold live before your eyes on a television screen, but doubtless the situation could only have been surreal. What could the future possibly hold?

Both of my grandfathers served in WWII. One served in the Army in the Pacific, primarily in Okinawa, the other was a Navy man storming the beach at Normandy and sailing the coasts of Africa. I grew up hearing stories of what life was like for my grandmothers waiting back home but since neither of my grandfathers have ever really talked about their war experiences, I've imagined and pieced together what their lives may have been like through watching countless movies and reading scores of books both fictional and non.

My father and grandfather both served missions in Germany, my grandfather in the late 30s just prior to Hitler's reign of terror and my father in the early 70s. Their love for the German people and the land in general also generated a fascination in me for that area of the world and its complex and troubled history. I've spent many hours poring over slides and photos and journal entries of their experiences at various sites and hearing them talk about the damages Hitler's rule did to so many good people. I've been blessed to see a few of those places myself in recent years and remember watching with my father as the Berlin Wall fell and thinking that finally the land could begin to heal.

I was also able to spend some time in Hawaii several years ago and visited the site of the USS Arizona. There is a definite feeling of the sacred as you stand over the remains of ship still sitting at the bottom of the harbor, the watery graves of the 1177 crew members, soldiers and civilians lost in that fateful attack. Over 2000 were lost that day and over 1000 more injured in the episode that finally entered the US in the great war that had been raging already in Europe and the Pacific for years.

My grandfathers are 88 and 92 years old, their generation has nearly come to its close and soon only their stories and memories will be left. As George Santayana so wisely observed, "Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it." Let us not forget this Greatest Generation, their experiences and all that they've gone through or we will surely go through it again for ourselves.

Never forget!

Happiness is...discovering new music!

I love listening to music.  There's just something about a melody that connects to your soul and emotions in ways that nothing else can.  A few notes of song can reverse the clock and take you back to your childhood.  Change the notes and you may find yourself instantly in high school, feeling the rush of your first love or the devastation of that first broken heart.  Music captures the highs and lows and recreates them better than any time machine, for better or for worse.

I grew up in a home filled with music.  My parents took us to the young persons symphony programs when we were little and exposed us to their favorite bands from their youth.  My little brothers and sister and I would drag our kitchen bar stools into the front room, pull out the record player and sing back-up into wooden spoons,  or with our hands over our ears, mimicking the recording booths we'd seen on TV. (The Carpenters have no idea how much bigger they would have been if they'd only used us!)  Or for those livelier tunes we'd improvise hand gestures and dance movements ala The Supremes. I also spent many a Sunday night at my Grandpa's house listening to his old jazz records and basking in the memories of the first time he heard or saw a certain band and reveling in his opinions as to why this trumpeter was better than that one and such.

It also seemed like every friend I made or life step I took would introduce me to some new type of music or add a new artist to my list of favorites. A friend who'd served a church mission in South America gave me the gift of Luis Miguel and Los Prisioneros.  A short stint at a small rural college dragged me kicking and screaming onto the country train (never to look back, I'm afraid!) Roommates and co-workers have roped me into concerts such as Dan Fogelberg and Pete Yorn.  Dates have taken me to see Sarah McLachlan and Jim Brickman. My sister continually passes on CDs meant to enlighten me in the ways of some of the smaller indie alternative bands.  And then there are the lovely bloggers who are continually throwing out names I've never heard of!

In consequence, my tastes are rather eclectic and run through everything from JS Bach to Dave Brubeck,  The Beatles to Bon Jovi, James Taylor to Taylor Swift, The Killers to the King's Singers, Lady Antebellum to Belle and Sebastian, Neil Diamond to Diamond Rio, Frank Sinatra to Moonlight Sonata, and just about everything in between (minus most rap and most techno or R&B stuff.)  The only true criteria I have is that the music fits my mood and be sing-along-able.  If the music or message is too crass or unintelligible for me to join in at the top of my lungs then it probably won't make the cut.  Anything else is pretty much fair game.

And I'm always on the lookout for something new and interesting to add to my collection.  This is the latest discovery, take a listen!

Ms. Gledhill has been around for a little while but started out in the Christian music scene before branching out to reach a more widespread audience.  This is the title song from her latest album.  I just love her fun sound.  Everything of hers I've listened to so far is upbeat and full of a slightly shabby chic-ish sort of charm that makes you want to smile and sing-along. (Or ride a carousel.  Don't you just love the vintage carousel in the video?) It's the perfect thing to listen to if you need a quick pick-me-up.  How can you feel low after listening to that?

Reader, who is your favorite artist?  What are your favorite kinds of music? What part does music play in your life? Are there any other artists you suggest I explore and discover?  On this cold and blustery winter Wednesday, do me a favor. Find your favorite piece, take a few minutes to just listen to it play.  Close your eyes, sing along if it's appropriate and just BE the music.  You have my permission!